...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
