you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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