Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
