Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
