White coat. Heels.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
