just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
