WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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