is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
