remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
