It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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