Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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