At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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