Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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