is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
