you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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