Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
