I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
