Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
