Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
