whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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