TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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