You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
