get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
