i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
