sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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