I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
