i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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