I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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