It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
