I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
