i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
