When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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