Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
