she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm just crazy horny about you
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
These tits shall not be calmed
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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