This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize