Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
