the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
