Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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