like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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