I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
