ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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