Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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