wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
