If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
