I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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