if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
