True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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