The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
