This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
