HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
is it fun? or sober?
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