I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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