when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
