rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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