ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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