just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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