At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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