Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I love you.
Bad choice
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
