no. you can't hotbox the world.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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