You're my little dorito
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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