tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There r osticjed everywhere
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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