just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
