I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
