Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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