he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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