i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
