My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
