I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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